Before I get into all of that, I want you to know that the past fourteen years have been a joy to me! I have invited you to my Tea parties and HOME parties and we have had such a good time, haven't we? I have shared numerous posts of my collection of Rose Chintz china which I am especially fond of. Many of you know the story of where most of it came from and my dear Auntie P who gifted it to me.
I have shared my extensive collection of china and teapots with you, and I have shared some of my stories. We have walked our beaches together, and we have toured Green Gables together. It has been a lot of fun.
The truth is, and it pains me to tell you this, the past year in particular, has been very difficult. Most of you are not aware that I have some fairly serious health issues which I will share with you now. I don't need to share everything. I only wish for you to understand some of my struggle and why I have made a decision.
When I was in my mid-thirties, I became very ill with a neuromuscular disorder which affected all of my voluntary muscles as well as my lungs. It has caused me a considerable change in life style and has made me extremely accident prone. With a compromised immune system, I am vulnerable to all manner of health issues.
Up until that point, I had always been very active and high energy with a very strong constitution. When I was first diagnosed, I made up my mind that whatever happened, I was going to fight this with everything within me. I also knew that God would be with me and He would see me through it all.
At the time of my diagnosis, my three sons were still quite young. One was in his early teens, the middle guy was a tween, and my youngest was just a little boy. I knew my kids still needed their mom; especially my youngest, so I tried especially hard to lead a normal life for their sakes. Every time I looked into the big blue eyes of my little boy, I knew I couldn’t give up. I had to keep going and live as normally as possible.
My take on a Victorian sponge cake.
It took a couple of years for the specialists to get me levelled out with medication so I could operate as normally as possible. During that time, most of my activities came to a halt. I was not able to attend church and I was judged rather harshly for that. Some folks didn’t understand nor did some of them really try to. While I was housebound, I read my Bible and I spent a great deal of time in prayer. So, my time was not wasted.
Because of my condition, I had some very bad falls. Sometimes my legs would give out on me and oftentimes if I was especially tired, I could trip over my own feet. Stairs are not my friend.
Broken bones, sprained and strained muscles, as well as torn muscles and ligaments became a way of life for me. My physiotherapist once told me because of my disorder, I was probably going to be seeing him for quite some time. He was right of course. Accidents happen when I least expect them.
After a number of years, I became strong enough to return to church and ministry. I had spent seven years at home but I grew a lot and I ministered to a lot of people. The Lord can use us even when we are incapacitated if we allow Him to.
My 4th of July cake.
My favourite Rose Chintz and lilacs.
When Hubby and I resigned from our pastorate, I started blogging because I felt I needed an outlet of sorts for creativity. You see, I had been the music director and I also wrote short stories for the bulletins. Blogging helped fill the void and I got to know so many lovely ladies the world over. It has been wonderful!
Two of our fabulous beaches.
At that time, I was still getting out to the beach for walks which was probably my favourite thing to do, and thrift shopping, as well as having friends in for tea. But I was not able to drive any longer and I became very dependant on my hubby to get me around. It is a good thing that he didn't mind. Hubby is a very patient man!
My husband and I had Home Bible study groups for over thirty-five years, before and after we resigned from our church. I always enjoyed preparing treats for the groups and entertaining in my home. It gave me much pleasure to minister to others.
Roses from my garden.
But, as I became more and more incapacitated, little by little, I was not able to do the things I used to do. This annoyed me to no end. You see, I always challenged myself. Now, my body was really challenging me. Sometimes I got angry because I was losing control. But I still knew that God was much bigger and wiser than I am and I always trusted Him to get me through the hard times, instead of giving in to that anger.
I am stubborn! Perhaps that is a good thing, because I don’t like giving in to things, especially pain. On the other hand, I tend to overdo and then I pay for it. Sometimes I will have another accident because I did overdo. It is frustrating!
I guess I have always wanted to be strong and not give in to weaknesses. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, especially my family.
I am obviously an A type personality and it’s difficult to admit that I have to start taking better care of myself. I can’t bake as much as I used to and that is incredibly hard on me. My hands are so bad that I cannot peel an apple or a potato. I cannot spend any more than five to ten minutes on my feet or my back causes me extreme pain. In regards to this back of mine, I need surgery but they don’t recommend it because it is an 8 to 10 hour surgery, and because of my condition, I am a risky case. I was told by a surgeon and my neurologist that it probably wouldn't work anyway.
More and more my hubby has taken over the role of house keeper. This is a very hard pill for me to swallow. I can no longer shop, go for walks, or enjoy a coffee in the evenings down at the boardwalk like we used to do. My life has become very difficult and yes, boring!
I have been hesitant to confide in you because I have strived to keep my blog upbeat and as interesting as I am able. But I feel my time in Blogland is coming to an end. I have had a wonderful time hosting parties and sharing. A part of me wants to continue but it has become increasingly hard for me.
Shooting a tea time for example is especially difficult because I have to get the china out and set it up. My hubby isn't always here to help take the china down for me. He works part time at a job he loves and he goes to the gym. He is also involved in the church. He is still very active and he needs to be.
I always liked to share a treat with a recipe when I had a tea time, but it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to do that. I don’t get out much so pictures of the Island and other things that interest me have come to a standstill.
So, my dear blogging friends, I have so enjoyed my time with all of you here in Blogland, but I think it is best to close down. Perhaps one day I will start a site on Facebook, who knows? When I feel up to it, I may try to visit some of you.
My love and thanks go out to all of you for coming to visit and leaving your delightful comments over the years. You have all been such an encouragement to me. A few of you have been especially kind to me, sending me cards and gifts over the years. You know who you are, and I will always appreciate your thoughtfulness.
It has been lovely belonging to such a caring "village" of blogging friends.
Please take good care of yourselves, stay well, and remember God loves you, and so do I! I will miss you.
FYI ~ The pictures I have shared on this post are from some of my postings from over the years and I hope you enjoy them.
Sunset at Victoria Park.
When asked if my cup is half-filled or half-empty; my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup. ~ unknown
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