A Heart to Heart with My Friends

Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~ Hans Christian Andersen

Hello dear ones! It is a beautiful day here on PEI and I am really enjoying this lovely weather we are having. It is lilac season.

All romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare... perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways. ~ LM Montgomery

I feel I must have a heart to heart with you. I want to confide in you something that not many of you know.

I have been blogging for many years, and I have made some wonderful friends over those years. I met the majority of you when I hosted my Tea Time Tuesday and HOME parties and we have remained friends ever since, even after I had to shut them down. Bless your hearts!

Some of you have gone out of your way to be especially sweet when I was going through my trials three years ago. Thank you! You will never know how much you ministered to me this side of heaven. I just want you to know that I appreciate all your prayers, kind words, and deeds.

But, none of you really know me because of course I don't share very much about my personal life. I don't think many of us do because we want our lives to remain private. There is nothing wrong with that. I wanted my blog to reflect who I am without burdening you with all my issues. We all have our own problems and blogging for the most part is supposed to be fun and it is a splendid way to meet other friends with like interests.

A few of you know that I am living with a chronic illness and life oftentimes can be difficult for me. My faith, my hubby and family, have all made it possible for me to find a little joy in every day.

Blogging in the beginning had become a way for me to express myself after my hubby and I left the Ministry. At our last pastorate, I was the music director and I used to write short stories for the bulletins. When we left, I really missed sharing so  I decided to create a blog and share on that, and here I have been for almost twelve years.

How much longer I will blog, I am not sure. Some days I feel like I have nothing left to share with you. I am not a super mom, an interior designer, a poet, or a teacher. I am just me; a lady who has found peace with God and the world in which I live.

I have learned to be quiet before God and to trust Him to take the reins of my life and guide my sometimes wobbly footsteps. It hasn't been an easy road but I can honestly say that from the very beginning, when I was first diagnosed with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy, I knew that He does not allow us to go through anything alone. He has promised to be with me all the way. 

At the time of my diagnosis, I had one teenager, a pre-teen, and my youngest was still a little boy. On those early days when I didn't think I could go on, all I had to do was gaze into those big blue eyes of my youngest son and it gave me the will to pick myself up and keep going. The enemy tried many times to sift me and turn my world upside down but I knew I had the victory in Jesus because the Bible tells me I do, regardless of my circumstances. If the Word of God says it, then I believe it!

There is still light and joy for me to be found in little every day moments, like pretty teacups. These are a few of my summery ones.  

I believe I could be a model child if I were invited out to tea every day. ~ Anne of Green Gables; LM Montgomery 

If one looks at me on a 'good day', I look as “normal” as the next person. I have what you call an invisible illness, for the most part. You will seldom see me outside of my home on those bad days. Invisible illnesses come in many forms as you know, and there are so many. I know there are those of you out there who suffer much more than I ever will. We do however have many of the same struggles. People look at us and think there is nothing wrong with us because we look “fine.” 

I no longer have to use a cane but my hubby has a strong arm that I can hold on to. And on those not so good days when I must be out, I am thankful for the handicapped sticker which allows me to walk out of the grocery store and get into the car without having to walk too far. I never go shopping by myself because I always have to have someone with me. I can no longer drive a car and haven't in years.

Since I was diagnosed in my mid-thirties, I have developed many more health issues that I am dealing with on a daily basis. It’s not always a fun life but it is my life and I try to make the best of it.

Although I cannot enjoy a lot of the things I used to, I can still enjoy a good book, a cup of tea or coffee, the company of a friend, birdsong outside my window, the lap of the waves on the seashore when I am able to get there; etc... I love watching the goldfinches at the feeders. I don't take life for granted, believe me.

My son sent me this picture of my favourite little feathered friend. Not certain where he got it, off the internet somewhere, but I wanted to share it with you. Isn't he precious? 

I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health! Laughter is good medicine and I am able to laugh pretty much every day. I have a clown of a husband who oftentimes makes it his mission in life to do just that; make me laugh! My children are the same way. They tease me unmercifully at times but it's always done in love. I am blessed, and I adore my family!

Appreciation can make a day - even change a life. ~ Margaret Cousins

I have a very, very small group of friends. About two years after my diagnosis, my very best friend died of breast cancer. I still miss her terribly but I have to live my life because for some reason, I'm still here. Most of the friends I used to have have moved on because, well, I can’t do the things I used to do and I tire very easily. The vibrant, energetic, and very busy woman I used to be no longer exists. In my head, I'm still that young woman but my body has a mind of its own. I understand why my former friends have moved on and I hold no grudge toward them. I honestly do understand! 

So, why am I telling you all this? I guess today, I just want to be real. I want you to know that I have limitations and I oftentimes feel like my creative juices are on vacation. There are days and sometimes weeks; especially lately, that I don't have the desire to blog. My world has become very small the last number of years. So, I have decided to just do a post when I do have something to share. Some of you couldn't care less about tea or china or baking or anything else I post about and that's okay. We can't be everything to everyone. There are specific blogs for those other things. 

My world can sometimes be a magical place however because of where I live. Most of you know I live on Prince Edward Island which is famous for Anne of Green Gables and over the years I have shared many posts about just that. Anne inspires me quite often and I am sure you have noticed that I use many of LM Montgomery’s quotes.

Beginning today, I am only going to blog when I have something I would like to share with you. The past several months have been extremely challenging for me, and I have been rather sad and quite weary on account of several factors. One being the loss of family members, and we have another situation coming up which grieves us as well. I have also been very upset over the death of George Floyd and others like him. My heart is grieving. 

I also haven’t been very good at practicing self-care and it is time I start doing that.

So, dear friends, thank you for visiting, thank you for indulging me, and thank you for caring. Most of all, I thank you for your prayers if you feel inclined to pray for me. The Lord bless you and your loved ones! I will be back soon as I am working on another post. Do take good care of yourselves!

There is Beauty to be found in every moment. ~ unknown

Sharing from my heart ~ Sandi